Graeme McDowell admits the possibility he may never captain a European Ryder Cup team or enjoy a second career as a TV analyst for one of the big US networks "were the things that kept me awake at night" when he was weighing up his decision to join LIV Golf.

Having said on the Asian Tour last week that he's "accepted" his Ryder Cup days are likely over, the 2010 US Open champion appeared on the 5 Clubs podcast with Gary Williams and opened up about life at 43 and why he decided to take the Saudi cash.

Asked how difficult it has been to give up on the possibility of captaining Europe at Adare Manor in 2027, he admitted he gets teary-eyed just thinking of it but realised there were no guarantees he would get that job.

"I picture myself standing there on the stage giving the opening speech looking at my team behind me," McDowell said of a potential captaincy in Limerick in 2027. "I mean, beautiful. You know, I've got a tear in my eye just thinking about it. But that wasn't a guarantee. It wasn't a given.

"I was potentially going to be against Westwood and Justin Rose for that Ryder Cup. Say LIV hadn't come along, [Westwood] would have turned Rome down, so now he was looking at '27 because Poulter was going to take '25 at Bethpage Black.

"He said that eight years ago and wanted to get into a fight with Mickelson on the stage in New York City. I haven't really thought about it. That may be one of the most fundamental things that may come out of this thing that we don't get to see Phil versus Poulter in Bethpage Black. You know, that probably won't happen now.

"Westwood is one of the most decorated European Tour players of all time. So I'm going against him and I'm thinking, 'I'm not sure I'm necessarily winning this job', you know, so this is the type of reasoning that I had to go through in my head.

"These two or three things we're talking about were the things that kept me awake at night as to whether I thought I was making the right decision or not. Are my chances greatly reduced now of ever being a part of a Ryder Cup team at any level? Yeah, of course they're greatly reduced."

McDowell, who famously holed the winning putt at Celtic Manor in 2010, explained what went into his thinking when LIV Golf came along at around the same time as some of the big TV networks were looking to sign him.

"It was a difficult one, and if I'm old and grey and 75 years old and I look back, and I never had the shot, I never captained a European team, I will be incredibly disappointed," he said.

"I balanced all these things up; I weighed all these things up. It was a complex equation, and at the end of the day, I had to look through the short-term lens. I had TV deals knocking on my door; I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready to hang the clubs up and I had to have that conversation.

"Contrary to what anyone thinks, I'm not showing up at 14 LIV events this year, taking my paycheck and going home. I still believe that I'm good enough; I still believe that I can win golf tournaments. I still believe that I can compete at any level. And that's the competitor inside of me."

On his decision to sign with LIV, he said: "You know, I think I think most players understand why a player in my position would have taken the LIV opportunity.

"You know, I'm 43 years old, I lost my card at the end of 2018 on the PGA Tour, I won it back by winning in the Dominican Republic in '19. Started playing pretty good into '20 and then hit the COVID wall and honestly played 18 months of the worst golf I have probably my whole career, right out of COVID and there were no guarantees in the sport.

"I think when something came along and offered me nothing but upside, it was a very compelling opportunity at that point in my career. Not that I thought I was done. I am certainly not sitting here saying that, but I was certainly feeling like it was uphill, really swimming into the current if you like. It was difficult.

"All of a sudden, an opportunity comes along. Like I said, nothing but upside. And, you know, I spent a long time weighing this opportunity up, calling the people I respect in the game of golf, speaking to my partner, speaking to my friends, to my family, understanding the things that would be potentially walking away from, you know, weighing that all up with the pros and cons."

McDowell was widely criticised for his comments on LIV Golf last year.

Speaking ahead of the opening event at Centurion Club and the questions about the Saudi journalist murdered by the regime, he said: "We're not politicians. I know you guys hate that expression. But, you know, if Saudi Arabia wanted to use the game of golf as a way for them to get to where they want to be, and they have the resources to accelerate that experience, I think we are proud to help them on that journey."

That comment made headlines worldwide and while he doesn't specify, McDowell now admits there are certain comments he would take back.

"I guess I've learned about myself that I'm sensitive, because I care about what people think and I think that's made it very difficult the last year," he said.

"There's players on both sides… players who are less sensitive and they can get on with their job and not really care what people think.

"But, you know, like I say, unfortunately, I found out about myself that I do care. And I do think I take things personally. You know, I've said some things that I'd like to take back. Did I say them because they were the wrong things to say? No, I said them because I was trying to answer your questions that, when I look back, were incredibly difficult to answer, you know, impossible to answer, in fact, to the point where I shouldn't even have tried."

McDowell expressed his admiration for how Rory McIlroy has stood up for what he believes in and played such spectacular golf at the same time.

"Take Rory, for example, the way he's played the last 12 months, I can hardly fathom it because he has done an incredible job protecting what he believes in," McDowell said.

"He has been out there front and centre, taking things personally. I find out about myself that I am sensitive, I feel like Rory is also sensitive and takes things personally. So to be able to take that energy and roll it up and focus on his golf has just been incredible. I have huge amounts of respect for him.

"I don't care what side guys are on; I really don't. If LIV's not for them, I totally respect that. All I ask is that they respect why I made the decision; I can only take care of me.

"But I totally have huge respect for guys making their decisions playing where they want to play, believing what they believe in. I single Rory out because it's impossible not to miss an incredible 12 months for him.

“And, you know, we'll hopefully sit down over a glass of wine someday, somewhere, and look back at all this and hopefully, as he said before, if PIF wants to spend money on golf, let's let the world of golf benefit from it."